logging on da again
Posted on Dec 18, 2025
going back onto deviantart to unlist and clear up some things and im genuinely having ptsd flashbacks.. its not even like anything bad bad happened cause i kept to myself a lot, i just don't like looking at my old art..... and other peoples art tbh LOL i've already talked about it so i won't say anything right now. currently i only have the stuff that i like up, especially if they got a lot of favorites up cause that stupid site keeps making the worst possible updates for no reason other than to piss me off specifically. so now all my artwork that i did unlist lost all of its favorites and comments, like ok i might as well just delete them atp....
what the hell
Posted on Nov 30, 2025
me growing up is realizing that i'm not special and there are like a billion people who are the same as me, even better if they're better at what i do.. in all the catagories.. im really just a npc in this stupid fricking 67 world huh 😔
i should just become a blue collar worker already
some new stuff
Posted on Nov 18, 2025
posting new artworkskis, starting with this
that's all ^^
gallery!!
Posted on Nov 16, 2025
Totally unrelated to my last post, I've finally got to making my gallery. I need to add some more stuff to it but other than that I think the page is pretty finished. Right now it's filled with my *old* work just to fill out the gallery for now so don't mind those. so YEAH the gallery will contain drawings, photography, videos and small doodles that I wouldn't normally post. What I'm really hoping right now is that it won't crash your device when there's a lot of photos and stuff.. but that's for me to worry about in the future lol
pondering again
Posted on Nov 15, 2025
First things first, I've completely given up on deviant art yay. I can't believe I even took up deviant art in the first place, like it's crazy seeing the amount of degenerates fester on that website. Honestly my biggest regret is drawing for those types of people, cause now I'm sort of associated with them? Yeah that's what I get for being too nice smh. And they're endorsing all of this fucking ai carp for what purpose bro. All of it is just so gross. With that being said I don't think I will deactivate yet, not until I start posting on instagram. I might also just start posting here. Cause one thing that stresses me out is social media, there's so much going on all at once. And I do NOT want to hear what people have to say about my stuff good or bad it's actually embarrassing 🧍
i missed my halloween post :-[
Posted on Nov 6, 2025
yeah, i missed it. i did go out trick or treating even though im probably way too old for that now 😭 and it was miserable as HELL though. sort of, it wasn't so bad by itself but the wind was brutal and im pretty sure it started to rain a little. at least i wasnt going alone so i wasn't the only one who suffered lol
i would show my haul if i wasn't too lazy to take out my phone and upload the picture to neocities and figure out how to put the photo into the post.... so just imagine i got a big ass bucket with a bunch of butterfingers ive decided right now
how do i recover from being a mediocre artist
Posted on Oct 13, 2025
seriously, how can I make myself work hard to become the artist that little ol me 5 years ago dreamed of being. FIVE YEARS AGO i thought and still think that I'm just gonna get better at drawing naturally, and that's worked out fine until now because I'm not improving fast enough I'm just realizing right now. People MY AGE are BETTER THAN ME and I'm going to be so honest I'm NOT happy for them :sob: And you know what that is probably my doing my fault for being such at bad artist. I study references or whatever or other peoples artworks and can't learn a single thing from them because I just fall asleep doing so. AND EVEN WHEN I DO STUDY IT ALWAYS COMES OUT SO GODAWFUL WHAT AM I DOING WRONG GUYS IM LITERALLY CALCULATING THE SHAPES AND LIGHTING AND SHIT!!!
I wish I could quit but I've already sunken so much of my life into art and making stories that it is just a part of my life. I could do so much more to improve (uh yeah just get off of your lazy ass) cause I love drawing and all that. Sometimes it's just hard to not compare yourself to others, I genuinely wonder what am I doing wrong that everyone else is doing right.
I think about a quote that was something like "if you're gonna do something for the rest of your life why not be good at it" and ig it helps me a little with motivating myself and all that cause this is going to be my life I might as well just get good... I dont know I was going somewhere with this uh
Sorry for the long post, for anyone just coming in and being like "woah" I try to be mysterious but I guess I already ruined that when I made my own website with a blog to scream and shout in it :-]
title
Posted on Sep 15, 2025
I hate myself and I should be quiet but I got a billion things on my mind. Here's the gif of the moment. That's a new thing that I just came up with for this website.
I love my life!!!
Posted on Sep 11, 2025
Soooo,, I got cats now.. 2 of them... and they're actually really cool. I was always a dog person (and I still am guys trust) and really hated cats for some reason... but I got them and they're so sweet 🥺 they're super sweet and super affectionate, I didn't even know cats could be affectionate. On the other hand i hate cat people, if you consider yourself a cat person just go die or something i dont like any of you
i hate my stupid life 😔
Posted on Sep 5, 2025
how it feels to work two jobs while going to school now. what the f am i doing. like im too young for this shit, none of this is gonna be worth it in the end anyway. now i have no time for the things i want to do.. i really want to improve in art but im now just finding out that maybe i shouldn't prioritize that cause its all worthless to my future raaaaahhhhdsahfbkud. i wont give up on it thoguh cause it's my hobby, my lifes workariso, but im losing faith guys. anyways the free time i do have i spend playing games so i dont even know why im screaming about this into the void i just felt like putting something up on my blog
more pondering
Posted on Aug 15, 2025
I wish I had the motivation to work on other parts of my website but I have no idea what to do I suck at coding 😭
Anyways I've been drawing a little and I remembered that I have a deviant art account.. I haven't posted on that weird fing site in a while. The thing is the people on deviant art are uh, quite peculiar and I don't want to associate with them. And I feel like I'm going nowhere in general. I've wanted to try instagram for a while but I'm not sure, I might ruin someones day with my art or something lol. I don't know, I'm still thinking...
Back on the topic of my website, I forgot EVERYTHING about html so now I'm trying to relearn it all... However I think I'm gonna keep the layout(?) I'm so used to how it looks and I feel like it represents me, but it's not that impressive at all. I'll change the introduction page for sure though.
Just been coding
Posted on Aug 1, 2025
It's been almost two weeks since I've started learning html and css (if that wasn't obvious, NOW YOU KNOW) and during that time i got pretty tired of working on my website. Which means instead of taking a break I went and started ANOTHER web project. I've already finished most of the site but I won't be linking it yet cause i'm not very confident in it lol it looks good so far though just take my word for it.
Anywayss, html is too ez I can't believe I didn't make a website earlier. I was stuck with carrd for way too long (since 2022 uh) and carrd was fine but it was just so limiting like I wouldn't be able to make THIS blog in carrd. Speaking of which I'm thinking about remaking a bit of my site. I learned a lot from making my friends website and I realized I should integrate a little bit of that knowlege into my own stuff. Yeah that's all I don't really have much to say :-]
Uhhh
Posted on July 23, 2025
I made this site for two things: my links and my personal stuff. I wonder though if I'm being too autistic about everything here, it's one thing to share your interests with the world and be who you are and all that but it's another thing to bombard passerbys with random shit when they just wanna see the everything that's NOT my website. Like I'm trying to be normal but you can't really be normal on the internet. I don't know, I just saw some kids edgy lil little school project here so maybe I'm not that bad.
In the mean time, I should try to keep to myself a little bit more (if I can help it haha :-])
Yapping
Posted on July 22, 2025
I did not, in fact, work on the other projects page. Instead deciding to stall and doomscroll through social media. I try to stay off of it as much as I can but I don't feel like doing anything meaningful, I also gotta try and put off the website. I've been so hyperfocused on it.... it's been a while since I drew or even doodled something. Or honestly i might just push myself to get something done irl cause I'm pretty sure staring at blue light for like 8 hours at a time is unhealthy.
What's next?
Posted on July 22, 2025
I know I should probably be working on making the code for this page more... efficient? if that's a good word to use. But I'd rather start decorating this page lol
I don't know exactly what I'm gonna be decorating the page with though. I was thinking doing an ocean theme because i love the ocean but I was like nah that would fit my playlist page more, but then again who's gonna be looking at my music? Cause I want to show off my music that I made but I'm just a beginner and I can't stand social media
Uh
Posted on July 21, 2025
Hi again, I'm just making sure it's working...........
It's done
Posted on July 21, 2025
Got the layout for this blog done! I'll change it in the future for sure but for now this'll do :-]
